It's so easy to get caught up in everyday routines and it's easy when life is moving at a fast pace to lose sight of all the little things that matter most. I try often to remind myself to slow down and not take for granted what's in front of me, but none of us are perfect and a lot of the times we do accidentally take things/life for granted. It's the little things that mean so much that can so easily become just a routine and when life gets chaotic it's easy to just wisp them under the rug or push them aside because we can just do it/say it later, or maybe it's just so routine we forget to do it or we do it and don't even know we did, I'm not sure which is worse. It was a quick slap back into reality when I received a phone call from Alan saying he had been in a motorcycle accident; it took me back to one of the worst memories I have. It's so cliche to say that at any given moment your life can change forever; and as lightly as you may take it, that's the reality we face every day. I know what it's like having the goodbye you just said to be the last one you'll ever get to say to someone.
As a child, I listened to the heavy dreaded knocks on the front door only to watch my parents open it and be faced with every parent's worst fear. I can still feel it like it's happening right now, all of the emotion from that night is still present within me and I don't believe it will ever go anywhere. I knew when I got the phone call my husband was obviously okay (alive and banged up), but it surfaced my ultimate fear; losing someone you love unexpectedly. It's probably a fear most of us have, but don't really think about or haven't yet had to deal with. I realize that death is a constant variable in our universe and we don't have much control over it. I don't think that living in fear and avoiding risks is the answer (even though the fewer risks you take might improve your lifespan lol ), but I also feel like we can't go around thinking we're invincible to the world that surrounds us. That's exactly why every time I say goodbye, every time I say I love you to my husband (or any other loved one) I say it with a full and conscious heart.
It's important to me that I take time to reflect on what's present in my life and make sure I tell the ones I care for how much they mean to me. If something were to ever happen to me unexpectedly; I want my husband, my daughter (as well as any future child of mine), my family, and friends to know how much I truly do love each one of them and that I will miss them dearly. I hope that after reading this you will make a mental note and make sort of a self-promise, to make time (even if it's not all the time) especially when life is moving fast to just slow down for a second and embrace everything you are grateful for in your life, most importantly the ones you love.
XO!
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