Lessons Learned on Friendship After High School

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Friendships can be hard to maintain in general, but what happens after you graduate high school? While facebook, twitter and instagram make it easy to see your friends’ most recent updates; maintaining an actual friendship can be challenging. Here are a few things I have learned  about friendship post graduation.

Priorities change and it’s okay.  I know this all to well, basically after I graduated, I got married and moved away. Now I get how some people can say “well that’s your fault for moving” ,but I can argue that I tried my very best to stay connected with these individuals but to me it felt like I was just an out of sight out of mind deal; so now I don’t even bother. It’s childish to assume that while everyone is headed in their own direction, that all of your friendships will remain the same. You will outgrow certain people and it’s better to just accept things for how they are as opposed to focusing on the past. Getting married, becoming a parent or pursuing a career can all shift a friendship. If you really want maintain being friends then center your attention on building something new.

Friendships aren’t meant to be toxic. If you’re feeling emotionally drained and you’re talking in circles, it’s probably time to cut that rope. It could be your bestie from highschool who just seems to be harboring some sort of resentment towards you and you have no idea why;even after multiple attempts to solve the issue. If her attitude continues to bring you down and you find yourself questioning the authenticity of her actions, then you need to dump her. I say “dump” because ending these types of relationships can be hard, emotional, and you probably try multiple times to rekindle things; but really, you just need to let it go. Don’t allow negative bonds to grow; you don’t want to be friends with anyone who hates to see you happy anyway.

Real friends bicker and get over it. You can’t get along 100 percent of the time because that would mean one of you guys are being (oh man I hate this word) fake. If you can have a disagreement and cordially battle it out without making it a big deal; well then you have got yourself a true friend. You should be able to listen to what's being said and not take it personal, and if it is personal it’s probably something you need to hear that you just don’t want to hear; and if its completely wrong discuss it and move on.

There are different levels of friendship. There are going to be people who you can discuss your life problems with, who you can trust with your deepest feelings; whereas, there are other people whom you may just enjoy being around and just because your relationship isn’t as substantial as some others are, doesn’t mean they aren’t loved just as much. There’s no one friendship that is the same and that’s what makes them all special. While you're crying with one friend and dilly- dallying with another; take time to recognize the roles you play in each other's life and appreciate one another.

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