Dependapotamus My Ass

Monday, July 11, 2016

Do you guys remember name calling in elementary school? --Wait a second,  let's call it what it is, bullying. Now, imagine that same childish behavior continuing as an adult, pathetic. Recently, I was 'called out' (or bullied) on social media for being a so called "dependapotomus". Now a lot of you are probably wondering what one could be, I'll link you to the urban dictionary definition here. Crude, right? Here's where it gets a bit more comical, the reason this person decided to call me out was because we shared different political views which are completely irrelevant to my home life. Not only did this person tag me in the post, but she continued to belittle me and my family while saying she was my husbands friend and "respected" him. As if my husband was going to side with her or something? Don't fret, the fun doesn't stop there. I know this woman (sorta), we grew up in the same small town, she's always been quite fond of my husband, and we never had any prior conflict. In fact, as far as I was aware, we were always both very supportive to each other on social media until I disagreed with her on my own post. Oh,  I also know the other woman (gosh, I'm so tempted to say girl, must be their behavior) who decided to chime in. She herself is a stay-at-home Mother and married to someone in the military, I even welcomed her into my home and sat with her at dinner. So you can see how this behavior was rather appalling to me. Where did it come from? Is me being a stay at home mom really that offensive or do I sense some jealousy? The only other thing I can think of is this woman is on her high horse, because she is enlisted and doesn't think other women are on her level. I think most of us are able to realize that there are some amazing and also some not so amazing people in every career. 

Calling someone a dependapotpmus is basically saying they are a fat, money sucking, lazy piece of shit, who just had a baby for the sole purpose of sucking the life out of enlisted personal. Which couldn't be further from the truth. I mean geez, I'm only 118 lbs. Kidding. I am totally being facetious, no body shaming here. One, I was dating my husband before he enlisted. From the beginning to now, I have been by his side. He chose me to be a part of his life, we got married and then had a baby. He prepared himself to be able to provide for his family, yes I too am included in that. Shocking. Being a stay at home mother was never up for debate, we both knew it was what was going to work best for us. In fact, it was a priority to make sure I was not only around for my daughter's youngest years, but also very hands-on (two years breastfed). And no, I am not ashamed for being a stay at home mother, nor should any of you feel that way. To find shame in motherhood, is just a sign that you probably shouldn't have children anytime soon. And since when did being a stay-at-home Mom define your intelligence? Last I checked, I wasn't the one attacking people on a personal level, because I was no longer able to validate my point. 

The only reason I am addressing what happened online is because I know this happens to a lot of women and men who just so happen to be married to people in the military. It's not because they're out of shape, lazy, bad moms/dads or even bad spouses. Some people will say anything to intentionally hurt someone, and "dependapotomus" is just one of those things. From my experience, people usually project anger onto others, because there is an active issue within themselves that they are incapable of working through. The military has been a factor in my life for the last five years, and during these years I was fortunate enough to make friends with some of the most caring, selfless, hardworking mothers I have ever met... and I know their husband's would agree. 

So yes, I am a military wife (or rather a woman who's husband just happens to be in the military) but I am not defined by his career. So sorry to break it to ya, but the center of my universe is not a man.  However my priorities remain: my family, their happiness, and their well-being. I have my shit together, do you? 


  1. This is awful! While I am not married to someone in the military, I am married and a stay at home mom. I can't begin to tell you the critisim I have gotten from friends and family about being a stay at home mom. I've been asked "if I am every going to do something with my life besides take care of kids" and so much more! You know what! HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH! I think your doing a great job! ₩

  2. I really like the way you covered everything without insulting anyone. Shows you are very mature in general and about the situation. I am not a mother, but I give huge props to stay at home moms. In fact, all though their job is difficult (and that's an understatement), it is amazing and so rewarding. Your job is something that is impacting your daughter in such a great way. You are very fortunate to be able to stay home and enjoy every moment with your child.


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