BLOGMAS DAY 15: A Letter To My Sister On Her 32nd Birthday

Friday, December 16, 2016

Happy Birthday Joss, 
Today you would've turned thirty-two. I sit here day dreaming of what life would be like if you were still here, how would we have celebrated your special day? Would we be out at a bar with Dill sipping on some fruity cocktails (because those were your favorite) or would we be inside somewhere surrounded by family, would you have children?  --I like to think you would have. 

This morning Dad sent me a picture of an unusually bright pink sunrise, and here in San Diego it started to rain just as "I'll be missing you" played in my car. Coincidence? Maybe, but I couldn't help but to feel you were near today. I fucking miss you Joscelyn, not just on birthdays or anniversaries but every day of my life. Every year I try to come up with a way to celebrate you (I say that lightly).  To state the obvious, celebrating your birthday isn't what it used to be--it's painful. 

Thank you for all those years you let me open your birthday presents and all those birthday candles you let me lick the frosting off of...and stick back in the cake. My only hope is at the moment you left this world, you knew how much you were loved. I think the greatest present of all is to love and be loved. You loved harder than anyone, you are the foundation of how I perceive love and I'll love you forever. 

Happy Birthday Jossy. 

Love always and forever after,

 Your little sister


  1. This is such a raw and heartfelt post.. it genuinely brought a tear to my eye! Sending you love a positive vibes my lovely.
    - Elen x

  2. This is lovely! Hope you are ok, and It's really nice to see you are being open about this situation. I'm here for you, girl. Just give me a shout whenever needed.

    Katie |


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